8 Steps to Overcome Porn

Even though I am a Christian, when talking to men who masturbate and watch porn, I will not tell them to stop because God is mad at them. I will tell them to stop because masturbating and watching porn is for losers. If you’re married, why are you setting a real flesh and blood woman aside for your hand and a video screen? And if you’re single, why don’t you get married?

Anyway, here’s 8 steps (in no particular order) a man can follow to get off porn….

  1. The man must admit the problem and become aware of the patterns of the addictive habit. He must be honest with himself and with God. No hiding. When does he usually look at porn? How often? What triggers the desire? What thoughts run through his mind just prior to viewing porn? He must identify and define his addiction. He must know his enemy.
  2. Pray, fast, and pray some more. I’ve known several men, and I have my own personal experience with this, with various different addictions — smoking, drugs, porn, drinking — who, after struggling for years, suddenly knew one day that their addiction was gone. And it is somewhat of a mystery. “Why now? Why have I been struggling for so long, and why now am I suddenly free?” Obviously there is a spiritual battle going on, and we can’t see what’s going on behind the scenes — perhaps there are angels fighting demons, perhaps something else — but through prayer we participate in the battle. Prayer calls down the power of God against our enemies. The man must not quit his spiritual warfare when things are difficult, but rather, “Rejoice evermore. Pray with out ceasing. In every thing give thanks…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
  3. Run. Paul instructs us in 1 Corinthians 6:18 to flee sexual immorality. There is no shame in fleeing an enemy the man can not possibly defeat all on his own. The man must flee the enemy and later fight the enemy from higher ground (in the prayer closet and in worship). In fleeing temptation, the man resists temptation, and in resisting temptation, the devil flees from him (James 4:7).
  4. Remove items of temptation. Maybe he needs to turn his computer around so that others can see what’s on the screen, or get out of the office and work in a more public space. Maybe he shouldn’t be alone for too long periods of time. He needs to keep his hands busy doing better things in his free time and when he might be alone — build a workshop, learn to weld, do some woodworking, learn an instrument, read more, write more, etc.
  5. He needs to tell others of his problem. Tell a counsellor, the pastor, his wife, his friends, his brother, and who ever else can help him. Sin thrives in the darkness but dies in the light. Hopefully he attends a church in which it is safe for him to confess his sin without being condemned. If not, he needs to find a biblical church.
  6. If he begins to look at porn, but does not follow through to climax, he needs to know that he can and should stop himself in the process. Just because he has begun doesn’t mean it is a lost cause to stop.
  7. If he does fall, he needs to have, what John Piper calls, gutsy guilt. “I [Piper] call it that because the believer admits that he has done wrong and that God is dealing roughly with him. But even in a condition of darkness and discipline, he will not surrender his hold on the truth that God is on his side.”* No hiding in the bushes when God comes asking where he is. He goes to God, admits what he has done, and submits to God’s discipline. This is the quickest path to restoration. The words of Micah 7:8-9 should be memorized by the man who falls into porn use: Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me: he will bring me forth to the light, and I shall behold his righteousness. Psalm 51 fits well here also.
  8. The man needs to set up a structure in his life so that he can actively replace the bad habits with the new ones. He needs to order his ways before the LORD. This is where he can get help from a Christian counsellor who will give him homework assignments designed to create new patterns of habit. Counsellor and counselee can work together to list all the bad habits in the man’s life which lead to porn and what can be done to replace those habits with godly habits.

*How to Deal with the Guilt of Sexual Failure for the Glory of Christ and His Global Cause by John Piper

Recommended reading:

Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson

Fidelity: What it Means to Be a One-Woman Man by Douglas Wilson

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Why Does Justin Trudeau March in Gay Pride Parades?

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As a Christian, I don’t agree with the gay lifestyle. But, also as a Christian, I believe gays are created in the image of God and are deserving of dignity and respect. I’ve known several gay men and women throughout my life, and what I’ve always seen in them are people struggling to live normal decent lives.

This is why I hate gay pride parades. Pride parades don’t portray gays as dignified or people deserving of respect. They portray them as fools and buffoons who are completely obsessed with sex; people whose entire identity is based on their sexual orientation. If that’s truly what it means to be gay, then why would we celebrate that? And if that’s not what it means to be gay, then why are we portraying it as such?

Imagine if gays were in the majority and straights in the minority, and there were “straight pride” parades in which men and women dance around, bare asses showing, grinding each other in the streets, onlookers cheering and yelling, “Straight pride! Yeah!” It would be absurd. No one would take straight people seriously, and I, as a straight man, wouldn’t be caught dead participating in one of those parades.

So why does the Prime Minister of Canada attend so many pride parades? Does he really care for gays and think that pride parades are what’s best for them? Possibly. But I would argue he’s not there to help gays, nor does he really care about them. He’s there to virtue signal to straight liberals. He’s there to show the whole world what a cool national leader he is — not like that orange haired idiot down south!

If you’re gay and reading this article, I hope you’re pursuing a life of dignity, decency, and respect. I believe you will only find that life by turning to Jesus, who will not reject you simply for being gay.

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Now, you might not like Lauren Southern because she’s too “right wing”. I certainly don’t agree with a bunch of what she says. But, I ask you to put that aside for the moment, because I think she really gets to the core issue of pride parades in this video……

Flash-Drive Babies

flashdrive baby

Below is a video that’s making the rounds this week….

Now, setting aside the insane and laughable circular “logic” this unfortunate professor is using, the real argument she’s making is that unborn babies have little to no worth.

If I go out and buy myself a 16GB flash-drive for $10, and realize when I get home that it has fallen out of my bag and is lost, I’ll be ticked off, but I’ve really only lost $10 and the time it took me to buy the thing. However, if I get the flash-drive home and plug into my computer and transfer all my kids’ baby photos, my wedding photos, video of my kids’ first steps, photos of the last vacation I spent with my dad before he passed away, and the novel I’ve been working on for the last ten years and is 99% finished, and erase my computer as I’m going to sell it, and then lose the flash-drive…. Well, that would be a tragedy.

The nutty professor in the video sees human beings in the same way. A person only has worth if he or she has experiences, memories, and relationships. An unborn fetus has none of that and is therefore quite worthless and easy to replace.

IMG_3390And this is the true evil of abortion: the low opinion that pro-abortionists have of the intrinsic worth of human life (i.e. being created in the image of God). They love to say they have a high opinion of women’s rights, but that’s complete BS. There are few people who hate women more than pro-abortionists.

So who is God according to this result-of-affirmative-action professor? The pregnant woman is — she alone can arbitrarily decide if the unborn person has worth or not simply by choosing to have an abortion or to not have one. And when she chooses not to have an abortion, the future experiences and so forth of the child will retroactively give the unborn baby the value it needs in order to make the abortion of it wrong…. or something like that…..

A Warning to the West

Following is an excerpt from a speech given by Alexander Solzhenitsyn in New York City in 1975….

July 9, 1975

Is it possible or impossible to transmit the experience of those who have suffered to those who have yet to suffer? Can one part of humanity learn from the bitter experience of another or can it not? Is it possible or impossible to warn someone of danger?

How many witnesses have been sent to the West in the last 60 years? How many waves of immigrants? How many millions of persons? They are all here. You meet them every day. You know who they are: if not by their spiritual disorientation, their grief, their melancholy, then you can distinguish them by their accents or their external appearance. Coming from different countries and without consulting with one another, they have brought to you exactly the same experience; they tell you exactly the same thing: they warn you of what is now taking place and what has taken place in the past. But the proud skyscrapers stand on, jut into the sky and say: It will never happen here. This will never come to us. It’s not possible here.

It can happen. It is possible. As a Russian proverb says: “When it happens to you, you’ll know it’s true.”

But do we really have to wait for the moment when the knife is at our throat? Couldn’t it be possible, ahead of time, to assess soberly the world-wide menace that threatens to swallow the whole world? I was swallowed myself. I have been in the dragon’s belly, in its red-hot innards. He wasn’t able to digest me. He threw me up. I have come to you as a witness to what it’s like there, in the dragon’s belly.

It’s an astonishing phenomenon that communism has been writing about itself in the most open way — in black and white — for 125 years, and even more openly, more candidly in the beginning. The Communist Manifesto, for instance, which everyone knows by name, and which almost no one ever takes the trouble to read, contains even more terrible things than what has actually been done. It’s perfectly amazing. The whole world can read, everyone is literate, but somehow no one wants to understand. Humanity acts as if it does not understand what Communism is, as if it does not want to understand, is not capable of understanding.

I think it isn’t only a question of the disguises which communism has assumed in the last decades. It’s rather that the essence of communism is quite beyond the limits of human understanding. It is hard to believe that people could actually plan such things and carry them out. And precisely because its essence is beyond comprehension, communism is so difficult to understand.

In my last address in Washington I spoke a great deal about the Soviet state system, how it was created and what it is today. But it’s perhaps more important to discuss with you the ideology that inspired the system, that created it, and that still governs it. It’s much more important to understand the essence of this ideology, and above all its legacy which hasn’t changed at all in 125 years. It hasn’t changed since the day it was born.

That Marxism is not a science is something which is entirely clear to intelligent people in the Soviet Union. One would feel awkward to refer to it as a science. Leaving aside the exact sciences, such as physics, mathematics, and the natural sciences, even the social sciences can predict an event — when, in what way, and how an event might occur. Communism has never made any such forecasts. It has never said where, when, and precisely what is going to happen. Nothing but declamations. Rhetoric to the effect that the world proletariat will overthrow the world bourgeoisie and the most happy and radiant society will then arise. The fantasies of Marx, Engels, and Lenin break off at this point, not one of them goes any further to describe what this society would be like. They simply said: the most radiant, most happy society. Everything for the sake of man.

~Excerpt taken from Warning to the West, by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. Farrar, Straus and Giroux, New York, 1976, pg 52-55