Generation to Generation Quotes #2
Edwin Friedman, in his book Generation to Generation, relates the structure of families to an electrical circuit. Your family is either “wired” as a series circuit or a parallel circuit, or, more likely some combination of the two.
Notice in the series circuit, the electricity has to travel through each light bulb before completing the circuit, which means, that if any one light bulb burns out, the circuit will not be complete, the electricity will not flow, and none of the bulbs will light up. In the parallel circuit, however, there is a complete circuit through each individual light bulb, meaning that even if any bulb burns out, it will not effect the flow of electricity through the other bulbs.
If a family is like the series circuit, anytime a problem or crisis happens, the whole family breaks down. There is no one to take a leadership role to fix the problem. Friedman calls this “linear thinking.” Members of a family need to differentiate themselves from the others in order to create a more parallel system.
“Differentiation means the capacity of a family member to define his or her own life’s goals and values apart from surrounding togetherness pressures, to say ‘I’ when others are demanding ‘you’ and ‘we.’ It includes the capacity to maintain a (relatively) nonanxious presence in the midst of anxious systems, to take maximum responsibility for one’s own destiny and emotional being.” (Friedman, pg. 27)
In a family, when some problem occurs, often one family member will show the symptoms of that problem more than he others. That member Friedman calls the identified patient. “The concept of the identified patient … is that the family member with the obvious symptom is to be seen not as the ‘sick one’ but as the one in whom the family’s stress or pathology has surfaced.” (Friedman, pg. 19)
A mistake, according to Friedman, made by counsellors is to assume that the identified patient is the only one with a problem and then try to “fix” that one person. In reality, the problem is with the whole family, and the whole system needs fixing.
The identified patient is often diagnosed with some condition. Friedman criticizes this practice….
“Diagnosis in a family establishes who is to be the identified patient. It is inherently an anti-systems concept. It is linear thinking [series circuit]. It denies other variables that are present in the system. Existentially, it makes someone ‘other,’ and allows the remainder of the family to locate their troubles in the diagnosed member. It also disguises opinions and judgments; in an intense ‘congregational [church] family’ struggle, this hidden effect adds to polarization.
“Within the personal family, the labelling effects of diagnosis destroy the person. It decreases, in the diagnosed member, a sense of control over the situation, increases his or her dependancy, and thus lowers their pain thresholds. The effect on nonsymptomatic members is that it fixes their perception of the diagnosed person’s capabilities. Eventually a family member’s label will become confused with his or her identity. Diagnosis also tends to concretize. It makes everything and everyone more serious.” (Friedman, pg. 56)
~All quotes from Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin H. Friedman
Thomas Sowell Quotes #8
“[U]nder any movement or set of collective beliefs, a feeling of being on the side of angels can be a dangerous self-indulgence in a heedless willfulness that is sometimes called idealism. This kind of idealism can replace realities with preconceptions, and make the overriding goal the victory of some abstract vision, in defiance of reality or in disregard of the fate of fellow human beings. The symbols of the preconception can become goals in themselves.”
~from Wealth, Poverty and Politics, page 420
In a vision driven group, “buying into the vision” is seen as more virtuous than actually doing something useful. Even those in the group who aren’t doing anything, or who are doing things poorly, will be held in high regard if they “get a hold of” and celebrate the vision. Conversely, those who may be doing productive work which is good for others, but show little enthusiasm for the vision, will be seen as dangerously independent and not “team players.”
Further reading: Shop Class as Soulcraft (Brief Book Review)
Unicorns in the Bible
The Bible (King James Version) mentions the unicorn several times: Numbers 23:22, 24:8; Deuteronomy 33:17; Job 39:9; Psalm 22:21, 29:6, 92:10; Isaiah 34:7.
Other versions of the Bible, such as the New American Standard Version, will instead use the term wild ox, as the Hebrew word, rê’em [pronounced: reh-ām’], probably refers to a wild bull.
Atheists like to bring up the Bible’s use of unicorns to attack its validity. Surely, if the Bible mentions unicorns, a mythical beast lacking any evidence for ever existing, then the Bible itself is a mythical document not to be taken seriously.
But what an intellectually lazy argument it is to automatically assume that the KJV Bible, a document translated over 400 years ago from Hebrew, Greek,* and Latin sources,** would use the word unicorn in the same way it is used today. Indeed, all you have to do is go back 200 years to find unicorn defined differently than today. The 1828 Webster’s Dictionary defines it as this…
A rhinoceros. And the same dictionary defines rhinoceros as this…
This does not mean that the KJV Bible is talking about rhinoceroses when using the term unicorn. But, it does make it rather obvious that the definition of unicorn is not the same today as it was 400 years ago, and the argument to write-off the Bible as myth due to its use of the word unicorn is unfounded.
Here is a good video which inspired this article…
* The Greek of unicorn is μονόκερως transliterated as monokeros [one horn].
** The Latin version of the Bible (the Latin Vulgate) uses the term rinocerotis in Deuteronomy 33:17 and rinoceros in Job 39:9.
God & Humour
Notice that humour, no matter what culture you’re from, is based on the “fallenness” of Man. There is always the contrast of our nobleness against our absurdity: a well dressed man slipping on a banana peal; the oldest and wisest of us being too deaf to understand what’s going on; the majestic design of our bodies and any white man dancing…
Whether the joke is dark, clean, dry, family oriented, racial, or about animals, the formula is always the same.
So what if our “fallenness” was taken away? What if we were always noble and majestic without all the insanity? Would we be grey and boring? Well, it depends. But, for the moment we can at least be certain that our humour is a product of our circumstance: the contrast of what we were designed to be opposed to what we currently are.
Does God have a sense of humour? It doesn’t appear so in the Bible. Jesus wept, but He didn’t laugh — at least it wasn’t recorded if He did. On the one hand, if the formula above is correct, God can’t have a sense of humour as He is not fallen in any way. On the other hand, we are created in His image, so if we have some sense of humour it must come from Him.
The only explanation that makes sense is that God does indeed have humour but it transcends our own — a humour based on joy rather than the conflicting absurdity which is our current existence. Our humour is but a broken shadow of His own.
It’s hard to understand as everything we experience seems to be relative to other things. You put your left hand in ice cold water, and your right hand in hot water, then put both hands in room temperature water — your left will feel it as hot while your right as cold. So, which is it? Does the picture below make you sad or angry? Or do you laugh?
Pursuit of Percipience 