Passive Aggressive Poison

passive aggressive ninja “I don’t worry, if they have a problem with me, they will preach about me!”

That’s what a friend told me when describing the leadership at a bible college he was attending. He had discovered that when and if the leadership was unhappy with what he was doing, rather than confronting him directly, they would come at him indirectly through passive aggressive tactics. And a great way to destroy relationships is to act passive aggressively.

What is passive aggressiveness? It is simply an avoidance of direct confrontation due to cowardliness. If passive aggressiveness takes root in your group it becomes a poison killing the tree. You have to deal with it quickly.

I’ve been guilty of this behaviour myself in the past, but I’ve made a rule to avoid it. It takes time to recognize it in yourself, but gets easier to stop over time.

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Through New Eyes by James B. Jordan

Probably the most influential biblical scholar who has shaped my understanding of the bible and of Christianity itself is James B. Jordan.

I always like to read Christian thinkers who try to define life as God wants us to. Jordan does this through his extremely detailed study of the Bible.

Below is a link to his book Through New Eyes. In this book Jordan explains the symbols of the Bible and how, through these symbols, we can understand who God is and what His plan is for this world. The book is originally available from Gary North’s website.

Here is the PDF book: through new eyes

Enjoy

Are You Projecting?

chickenhateyou I notice in my life that when things are going well, I am working hard, and my conscience is clear, I have no negative thoughts towards others. If other are doing well, I congratulate them, and if others are doing poorly, I try to offer help. But, when things are not so well for me, my attitude to others is opposite. Why is this?

In the opening chapters of the book of Revelation Jesus comes to evaluate seven churches. For most of the churches, He has some good things to say, and some bad things. They are encouraged for what they are doing right, and are warned to fix what they’re doing wrong.

And this is the healthy way to deal with issues in your own life. Every once and awhile you need Jesus to come and evaluate your life, to tell you what’s good and what’s evil. And though it might hurt some, you need to fix what Jesus says needs fixing. Doing this is the quickest path to a clear conscience and joyful carefree living.

The unhealthy way to deal with your issues is to compare yourself to others and point out all their faults in order to make yourself feel better about your own faults. In the short term this way is easier. I can always find someone worse off than me and quickly justify my own actions in relation to theirs. “I thought I was bad, but look at that guy.” This is projection — calling out and hating in others what’s really going on in you.

Whenever I encounter someone complaining about another without offering any kind of solutions, over and over, month after month, year after year, I know that person is projecting. They are unwilling to deal with an issue in their own life and so they’ve found someone worse than themself to project onto, thus making themself feel better. “I don’t have to deal with my issues until that other guy, worse than me, deals with his issues.” In the long term, projection will only lead to emptiness, bitterness, and foolishness.

Let Jesus come and evaluate your life. And even though it may be difficult, change what He says needs changing. Trust that He has your best in mind. Ask Him for help because He won’t let you down.

Facebook Illusions

It is interesting how different social media platforms are used for different things. And this seems to support Marshall McLuhan’s famous statement: “The medium is the message.” As I have written about before, every medium is created for a specific purpose, and no matter how that medium is used, that specific purpose will manifest itself.

Take Facebook. Facebook is a platform created for you to present yourself, in the best possible way, to people who know you. Unlike Twitter, where you present your opinions (usually anonymously) to people who don’t know you, and unlike Instagram where you present images to people who don’t know you, your Facebook page is directed at people who know you and who you want to impress in a way which is positive to yourself.

But of course, your life is never perfect. Even when things are running quite well, your life most often falls short of your ideal expectations. But what do you present on Facebook? You present your life as though it always meets your ideal expectations. Therefore, your Facebook page is mostly deceptive.

And I often see this phenomenon with an organization’s Facebook page as well. Beware, when viewing a charity’s, or church’s, or missionary’s Facebook page. All may not be as it seems.

For example, I remember viewing a post by a missionary who had only recently begun working in Cambodia (which is where I live). The post consisted of several pictures of the missionary working with a western medical team. There was no written description of the post, only the photos. Anyone viewing the post would automatically assume that the medical team was there under the organization of the missionary, and sure enough, all the viewer comments proved that: “Great job!” … “You’re changing Cambodia!” … “Amazing team!”

Western medical teams don’t just partner with anybody. Those doctors are taking precious time off work and investing thousands of dollars into the trip. They don’t want their time wasted, and so will not partner with some new missionary who has only been on the field for a few months. So I was a little suspicious and I asked the missionary, “Was that your medical team?” No, of course it wasn’t. It was a team working with a well established organization, and the missionary had merely volunteered to help them for a day. But the Facebook photos made it look as though the missionary was running the show.

Maybe it’s not a big deal, and I just need to relax a bit. But this kind of stuff has always bothered me. I’ve seen it so many times that all the little examples build up and up into a big steaming pile of BS.

Perhaps I am just projecting here. How much of this am I guilty of myself? Would I even be able to see myself doing it?

As a Christian, one of the things I love most about Jesus is the fact that He is always sincere. Jesus will always present things as they truly are.

God is light and in Him is no darkness at all.

Stay true!

Jordan Peterson on Leadership

narrative “Well here’s what’s in it for me, and here’s what’s in it for you. And here’s why the two of us together can further the enterprise and further what’s in it for you and further what’s in it for me.”

A good leader has a purpose great enough to include others besides himself. And in order to do that, he will find people who will benefit in their own personal lives from that larger purpose.

Peterson explains…..