A Glimpse At Fatherhood

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We need to remember that when God gives us a gift, that gift is given in the context of us being created in His image.

For example, marriage is not something God thought up as something that would be great for us, but has no connection to who He Himself is. The idea of creating a bride for His son was an idea which existed long before any man or woman walked the earth. The idea of two different kinds of persons, being equal, with one submitting to the other, is something that has existed in the Trinity for eternity.

Fatherhood is another of these gifts. We have fathers, we are fathers, because God is a Father first.

I am currently reading “Father Hunger” by Doug Wilson. In it he suggests reading biographies of great godly fathers. Why? Because so many of us today have such poor images of what a good father looks like, and how you perceive earthly fathers is how you’re likely to perceive God as father. Of course the Gospel will correct any wrong ideas of what God as Father looks like, but it helps to see some good examples here on the ground as well.

I found this book online: “The Story of John G Paton Or Thirty Years Among South Sea Cannibals“. It’s an autobiography about Paton’s missionary work. In the book Paton refers lovingly to his father, and it is very eye opening and heart warming. 

The book is free for Kindle, so there’s little reason not to read it yourself. Here is an excerpt where Paton talks about his father…

My dear father walked with me the first six miles of the way. His counsels and tears and heavenly conversation on that parting journey are fresh in my heart as if it had been but yesterday; and tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then, whenever memory steals me away to the scene.

For the last half mile or so we walked on together in almost unbroken silence—my father, as was often his custom, carrying hat in hand, while his long flowing yellow hair (then yellow, but in later years white as snow) streamed like a girl’s down his shoulders. His lips kept moving in silent prayers for me; and his tears fell fast when our eyes met each other in looks for which all speech was vain!

We halted on reaching the appointed parting place; he grasped my hand firmly for a minute in silence, and then solemnly and affectionately said: “God bless you, my son! Your father’s God prosper you, and keep you from all evil!”

Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer; in tears we embraced, and parted.

I ran off as fast as I could; and, when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me, I looked back and saw him still standing with head uncovered where I had left him—gazing after me. Waving my hat in adieu, I rounded the corner and out of sight in instant.

But my heart was too full and sore to carry me further, so I darted into the side of the road and wept for time.

Then, rising up cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he yet stood where I had left him; and just at that moment I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dike and looking out for me! He did not see me, and after he gazed eagerly in my direction for a while he got down, set his face toward home, and began to return—his head still uncovered, and his heart, I felt sure, still rising in prayers for me.

I watched through blinding tears, till his form faded from my gaze; and then, hastening on my way, vowed deeply and oft, by the help of God, to live and act so as never to grieve or dishonor such a father and mother as he had given me. The appearance of my father, when we parted,–his advice, prayers, and tears–the road, the dike, the climbing up on it and then walking away, head uncovered–have often, often, all through life, risen vividly before my mind, and do so now while I am writing, as if it had been but an hour ago. In my earlier years particularly, when exposed to many temptations, his parting form rose before me as that of a guardian angel.

(Chapter 5)

Know Thy System, Know Thy Self

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Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.”
~Isaiah 48:17

I am a blessed man. Four short years ago I came out to Cambodia a pathetic bachelor. Now I have a great wife, two wonderful kids, a good home, and a successful Christian elementary school. I am well supported by my home church, as well as by some individual donors. The organization I work with supports the school faithfully. God teaches His own to profit and I am very thankful.

I remember hearing of one missionary who mentioned to his organization’s leader that he needed music equipment for his church. The leader offered to help with the cost. The missionary went ahead and bought all the equipment: sound system, drums, guitars, etc… Afterwards he presented the receipt to the leader. The leader refused to pay for any of it. People got offended and angry.

I knew a different missionary who organized an outreach event. Again, the leader offered to cover some of the costs. After the event, no money came in. This missionary got offended and angry.

So I went ahead and asked the leader of the organization, “Why do you say you’ll help, but then don’t?”

The response was, “If we say we will help, we will help. But when someone wants money, they first need to submit a budget, then we need to approve that budget, and then we will give money, not before. We can’t just hand out money blindly. There is a system which must be followed.”

Ah, a system.

I went back to the missionary and asked, “Did you know you had to submit a budget first?”

He rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, but I don’t have time for that!”

Don’t have time? You don’t have time to do the one thing required to get the money being offered to you? I guess it’s easier to sabotage your own chances and complain about it later.

It is like being very hungry, having a delicious plate of food in front of you, but not having the time to lift the spoon to your mouth. (Proverbs 19:24)

But I shouldn’t be too hard on him. No one had taught him the system.

When I started up the school, I knew I would need financial support. I knew there was a system to follow in order to get that support. The one problem was that I didn’t know the system. So what did I do? I got help from someone who did know the system, and she was able to guide me through the process. And it worked! I received the funding as promised. I learned the system, I respected the system, and I was able to profit from it.

The system will not be perfect, and where it needs change, we can work to change it. But to effectively change it, we must work within it. My prayer to God is that He will always be teaching me how to profit, how to work within the system, how to do what is required of me.

God willing, I will be an old experienced man one day, then it will be my job to teach the younger missionaries the system, and how to profit within it.

Do Not Go To Bible College

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My time as a missionary in Cambodia has been teaching me that, most often, my abilities which are most useful to the people around me are the skills I learned back in Canada before I came out here.

If my son approaches me as he’s nearing completion of high school, and says he wants to be a missionary or a pastor and he wants advice on how to do that, my first instruction will be to stay out of Bible College.

Here’s what I’ll then tell him:

1) “Get a job in a construction trade, one that trains through an apprenticeship program. I’m an electrician myself, so I’ll suggest that one over any other.”

What will he learn in a trade?

a) He will learn how to value hard work and working with his hands.
b) He will learn how to be resourceful.
c) He will learn how to respect and handle money.
d) In an apprenticeship program, he will learn how to respect authority and be trained by men more experienced than him, and will eventually learn how to teach men who are less experienced than him.
e) He will learn how to steward another’s property.
f) He will learn what quality and excellence looks like.
e) He will learn how to interact and work alongside people who couldn’t care less about Jesus, and he will learn how to share/defend his faith.
f) He will learn how to work with people in general.

As opposed to going to Bible College where he will learn…

a) how to prolong his childhood.

2) “Go to your pastor and volunteer most of your free time to him and to the church. Do whatever he needs you to do, nothing is beneath you when serving the church. Serve in the church office, and/or serve in the church’s outreaches, or whatever. If your pastor has nothing, we’ll find one who does.”

What will he learn here?

a) He will learn the practical realities of ministry.
b) If he gets to spend a fair amount of time with the pastor, he will learn how the pastor deals with his own problems and the problems of the church members in a Biblical way.
c) He will learn how to share his faith in a deliberate way and how to work with other believers in doing so.
d) He will learn that the rewards for serving the church are straight from God, and not from man, and therefore may not be seen right away, but will last forever.

As opposed to Bible College where he will learn…

a) how to live in an idealistic bubble.

3) “Let’s go to my bookshelf and I will show you great books on church history, godly men, godly women, church planting, missions/missionaries, Bible commentaries, and theology. In addition to daily Bible reading and studying, read and study these books. Read different teachers with different methods and principles, and think and ask questions. Listen to different preachers online. The Bible always comes first, and anything you read by a man must hold up to the Bible, so you better know that first. In this way you will develop a strong, robust theology of your own.”

As opposed to Bible College where he will learn…

a) a dumbed down theology which mostly comes from Hillsong lyrics (I once had a full time missionary, with a B.A. in theology from Bible college, ask me where the Ten Commandments were in the Bible).

4) “If you absolutely need a degree for where you are going, then we will find a decent Bible College that offers an online correspondence program and you can get your degree without having to step into a classroom.”

As opposed to Bible College where he would…

a) waste two to four years inside a Bible College classroom.

After the four years it takes to complete his apprenticeship are over, he will have served many hours in the church caring for his fellow believers inside and doing evangelism outside, he will have read many excellent Biblical books, he will have invaluable practical wisdom from his day job, and he will have a trade which can make him some decent money. And if he did the online Bible College, he’ll have that degree too. He is ready.

As opposed to Bible College where maybe he’ll have learned to play the guitar and maybe he’ll have read most of a John C. Maxwell book or something.